There is a misconception that sexual assault is something that is only committed by men against women. While a majority of sexual assault victims are women, it is estimated that 1 in 33 American men have been victims of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. Unfortunately—even though many men are victims of sexual assault where—there is a common opinion that the sexual assault of men isn’t as serious as the sexual assault of women. For this reason, male sexual assault victims are often vastly underreported.
The isolation of sexual assault
Because of the stigma associated with sexual assault (especially when men are the victims) this painful and traumatic experience can also become particularly isolating. If a survivor’s friends dismiss male sexual assault, or if they glorify the assault of a man by a woman, he might feel unable to express what has happened to him. He will be forced to pretend he’s alright and put on a good face, while simultaneously suffering the after-effects of a traumatic incident. He may be afraid to tell anyone, even the police.
An undocumented event
The alienation of sexual assaults committed against men is not very documented. Because of how underreported the crime is, it’s hard to find accurate statistics, however, studies have shown that at least 9% of all reported sexual assaults are committed against men (and this number is probably higher).
The same feelings as women
Male victims of sexual assault report that the feelings they struggle with most after the assault are very similar to what women struggle with: feelings of anger, shame, depression, self-blame, and even suicidal thoughts are all commonly reported.
It is more common for men to initially respond with anger or even denial of the event to minimize its impact or the severity of the assault. An additional issue that comes up with men is those that who are the victim of male-on-male sexual assault may question their sexuality or how others may now perceive their sexuality.
Often, homophobia can play into whether or not he confides in people about the assault or tells the police. If the victim is gay, public perception of gay men being promiscuous can contribute to people insinuating that the victim put themselves in harm’s way. The victim may even achieve or erection or ejaculate during the assault. It’s important to remember that an assault in no way signals a person’s sexuality—even if the perpetrator is a man. And getting an erection or ejaculating during an assault is no indication of whether a victim consented.
Who are the perpetrators of sexual assault against men?
Anyone can be the victim of an assault and anyone can sexually assault a man. Statistically, most assaults against men are committed by other men who identify as being heterosexual. If you are sexually assaulted or know of someone who is sexually assaulted, a key thing to remember is not about sexual desire or sexual orientation, it is only about violence and control.
What to do if you or someone you know is assaulted
If you are sexually assaulted, it’s important to remember that you did nothing to cause this assault and that it is an assault. You are not obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, but having an attorney that understands what you are going through is important if you are going to talk to the police. Searching for sex crimes attorney near me may help you find someone with experience in the field that can help you navigate a difficult time.
If someone you know has confided in you about their sexual assault, the first thing you should do is believe them. Give them the support they need and don’t try to force them to do anything they don’t want to do—including talking to the police if they’re not ready to.
